Of Eggs and Waffles
by XSuicuneX
Summary: Having roommates is tough, especially when one is an insufferable insomniac who just so happens to be slightly unhinged.


**A friend requested this from me, with these requirements; **

**Gambit, Deadpoole, and Waffles.**

**So I went with it. **

**Disclaimer; I don't own Marvel or Wade or Remy or the mass amounts of waffles inside of this fic. I made this for the lolz.**

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><p>It was a normal day in New York, well...if by 'normal' you meant 'busy with only a slight amount of super-humanoid violence.' To one Remy Lebeau, this was a good thing. It made people less wary and more prone to be lax in their security. It also meant there were less loony's out and about, meaning less chance of him running andor fighting for his life.

In short, it made his job MUCH easier.

Couldn't very well do anything about his loony roommate though.

He prayed that said roommate was still asleep, but sadly, one step into the window and a whiff of the air showed that the ever so...ah...eccentric Wade was in the kitchen.

Making Waffles.

Remy had long since ceased attempting to understand why Deadpool did half the things he did.

It kept him from getting headaches.

"Goddammit Gambit! Would it kill you to use the door for once? You always keep forgetting to close the windows and that air is fucking cold man!"

True enough, there was Deadpool, red suit and all, yelling at him from the kitchen and cooking up waffles. He had his mask off, so Remy was viewed with the most lovely visage of his scarred face. Granted, Gambit was used to his roommates looks by now, so it didn't phase him.

Didn't really make him hungry for waffles though.

Why was Deadpool making waffles at...2;15 AM?

Well... it WAS morning...if an ungodly morning.

"Desole." Remy leaned casually against the side of the door, cool as always and attempting to act like Deadpool making waffles at ungodly hours in the morning was perfectly normal. At least it wasn't those awful Chimichanga's that he was so enamored with.

"Jus' got done wit' a job. Didn' t'ink you'd be up yet."

The merc waved his spatula at Remy with a dismissive gesture. "Oprah was on, can't miss her last season. I mean, it's _Oprah_, so many people are gonna have their lives affected by her leaving! What is she thinking, man? What is she _thinking_?"

Remy decided against mentioning that Oprah had been around for long enough, and that he really didn't watch her all that much, so he didn't really care that some random couch bum's talk show was going away...being that said random couch bum was also insane and had a tendency towards sharp, pointy objects and various explosives helped in the decision to not speak of these things.

It wasn't that he was afraid of Wade, far from it, he could throw his own explosives around as good as the next guy (if not better) it was just that he didn't want to pay for the repairs.

Oprah explained why Deadpool was up at the ungodly hour (early marathons apparently)...it didn't really explain why he was making waffles.

"...in't it jus' a bit early for waffles mon ami?"

"Non! It is never too early for Waffles! Don't you know that?" Wade was pointing the spatula at Gambit's face, shouting this message at him.

Remy was used to the eccentricity so it didn't phase him, he simply pushed the spatula _out_ of his face.

"Eh...non...I didn'...what kind o' waffles are they?"

Deadpool hesitated, and glanced back behind him where said breakfast foods rested...several stacks already made and more cooking in their four-at- a-time waffle maker. "Uh...take your pick."

Gambit glanced over the vast amount of waffle choices. "...got any chocolate chip?"

Wade grinned. "Yup, I've got wheat waffles in there too, since I know how much of a health freak you are."

Gambit waved dismissively at the merc and set to grabbing a plate and waffles and sat himself down onto his small coffee table. He dug into Wade's rather...spontaneous gift and tried to ignore the way that Deadpool kept glancing eagerly back at him. Remy could only assume that Wade was looking for approval for his culinary achievement, but it was early, and Remy was tired, so the Cajun decided to remain silent.

It took Deadpool a few seconds longer then Gambit expected, but the merc eventually broke the silence in his usual enthusiastic way.

"Soooo, Remy." He started, "What you gonna do with your shiny butt plug?"

This comment served to cause the Cajun to nearly suffocate on his waffles, but he managed to swallow on time. "W-what?" He glanced at Wade with utter bafflement on his face.

Deadpool grinned and perched himself on a chair opposite of Remy, his hands holding up his chin. "Ohhh...y'know...that thingy you got from Angel a couple weeks back. The egg shaped thing?"

Remy could feel his face turn at least five shades of rose. "Ah...oh...dat. Uh, 'm gonna get dat t' my employer soon as dey get back in contact wit' me."

Wade nodded, still with that Cheshire grin of his. "Right. Whatever you say mon amy."

Remy rolled his eyes and resumed his breakdinnerfast. He knew Wade was trying to annoy him with the awful french pronunciations. It was alright though, Remy liked annoying Wade by hiding his 'doorknobs' so it all evened out in the end.

"Y' find any work from dat temp agency y' were tryin' out?"

Wade grabbed himself a particularly pink and flowery plate from the cupboard and plopped on a pile of cinnamon waffles before settling himself down across from the Cajun thief. "Nah, apparently Hydra was runnin' it and they kinda suck as employers. I mean, I know they're a big terrorist organization and all, but they really need to work on the way they treat their employee's. Apparently they don't even have dental. Dental! What is the world coming to, y'know?"

Remy shook his head and let out a sigh. "Well, y'know I might be able t' hook you up with somethin', might have a few contacts that don't...uh, look too deep int' dey employee's psyche or, ah, history."

Deadpool shook his head emphatically. "Hey, I don't go for that pansy thieving deal that you've got. If I can't kill someone, then I'm not doing it. Besides," He took a large chomp out of his waffle. "It's what 'm good at!"

Remy sat back in his chair so he could avoid the bits of waffle flying out of Wade's mouth, carefully masking his disgust and annoyance from his face. "I wasn' talkin' about t'eives business, I'm a mercenary too after all. Was mentionin' some contracts dat might be t' your interests."

Wade paused and blinked at his roommate. "You actually take hit-men contracts."

Remy frowned, this time not bothering to cover his irritation. "Non, non! 'Course I don'! But dat don' mean people don' ask it from me either. I did some stuff back in de past dat I don' do no more, but people seem t' remember dat and t'ink dey can convince me t' go back t' it."

Wade paused, taking another bite of waffle. "How much they offering to pay you?"

Remy snorted. "A good bit, not 'nough t' convince me, but should be a nice sum f' ya."

The mercenary nodded and ate up his last waffle. "Well, I'll consider it my Cajun friend, but for now," He stood up and struck a dramatic pose. "To Oprah!"

With that the self proclaimed 'merc with a mouth' dashed out of the room to where Remy supposed was his living room, where his TV was likely flashing reruns of a TV talk show. He finished his own plate of waffles and sighed before moving to put away the rest of the waffles that were left over.

"Dammit Wade, we're gonna be eatin' waffles fo' weeks after dis stunt o' yours." Remy, however, was too tired to really yell at Deadpool, so he finished his cleaning and managed to drag himself to bed.

He hoped he would get in contact with the one who commissioned him to steal Warren's Faberge Egg soon. It was embarrassing to have around and the fact that Wade had managed to spot it made things a bit more embarrassing. Not that Wade had any room to talk. Remy knew all about him and Cable. More then he wanted to know in any case.

Rooming with Deadpool was interesting to say the least.

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><p><strong>Oprah is awsome (despite me not regularly watching her) and was on her last season when I wrote this. I don't recal if I've gotten around to editing this yet or not. I'll possibly redo it when I get the chance.<strong>

**Review for Aunty 'Cune~**

**TO OPRAH!**


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